So... my due date has now come and gone (it was yesterday), and I am still pregnant and getting more and more annoyed by the minute. I know I should be happy to have the baby make it to 40 weeks and yadda, yadda, yadda, but I'm still sick, my ankles are now swelling, I can't sleep, my back constantly hurts, and I'm just down-right GRUMPY! Since all of you can relate, you are going to bear the brunt of my crabbiness. Hopefully my effort to expel some negative energy into the following list at least makes you laugh!
TOP 10 THINGS THAT ARE REALLY PISSING ME OFF AT 40 WEEKS PREGNANT
10. Everyone breathlessly answering the phone when I call.
9. People asking me if "I'm still hanging in there." As if I have a choice!
8. People's eyes popping out of their sockets when they see how big I am. Get a good look at the freak show, folks!
7. Even better, the people who apparently can't help themselves when they see me and exclaim, "Whoa!"
6. Men who claim that they "know what I feel like." Dude, just shut up. Just. Shut. Up.
5. People who gleefully tell me that God makes women uncomfortable in the last few weeks of pregnancy so that they look forward to labor. This is so dumb I can only respond with a blank look and walk away.
4. People asking me when I'm going to get induced. Like a ride on the Pitocin train will make it all better!
3. My coworkers walking into my office, feigning surprise, and saying, "Oh! You're still here!" Umm, duh. You're looking right at me.
2. People asking me how much I weight I've gained. See #8. Answer - "a lot." And beyond that, it is none of your damn business!
1. My coworkers asking, in front of a room full of people, about my Dr. appointments and whether there is any indication that the baby is coming. Do you honestly think I'm going to talk about the status of my cervix in a meeting? In front of my 60 year old male boss? Seriously!
Alright, off to scrub some floors....K