"You Win Some, You Lose Some"... Thoughts on Interviews

Within the first two months of this year, I interviewed with eight women who were looking for doula support for their upcoming births.  Of those eight, four of them hired me and four of them found a better fit.  I'll confess that when I heard back from three of them in a row that they'd chosen another doula, I couldn't help but ask myself why?  Was it something that I said or didn't say?  Did I talk too much?  Did I leave out helpful information?  Did I have spinach in my teeth?  The more I thought about how the interviews went, I was reminded of what I've believed all along since starting down this path of doula work:

• There is the right fit for every woman and I am not always that right fit
• As my friend and fellow doula Val Peterson has said many times, "There are births that you are meant to be at and others you are not"
• For every birth that I am not supporting, another fantastic San Diego-based doula is, and I am so happy that a family has found the doula who felt right

I was still curious though, what it was that made me the choice for some and not for others.  I decided to take a risk and email a few of the women who'd chose another doula.  Here's what I wrote:

Doulas at Home Births

A majority of the women I support are giving birth in the hospital.  I've been asked recently to support a few women who are planning to give birth at home under the care of a Licensed Midwife.  As I've considered what my role might look like in the home setting vs. the hospital setting, I posed the question to a few birth focused communities that I'm a part of on Facebook.  I thoroughly enjoyed reading responses that I received and thought that sharing them here might be beneficial to other women who are considering hiring a doula for their home birth team and/ or other doulas who are asked to provide support at a home birth.  Feel free to comment below with any additional thoughts or experiences.  

Thoughts from women who've birthed at home...

M- I did have a doula, yes. Her role was "whatever needed doing." She offered emotional support to the whole family, helped filling and emptying the pool, helped care for the kids, tidied up about us. I found her really good! I would suggest having a close friendship with your doula though, because women who don't bond well with them don't find them as helpful as I did!

S- Yes. I had my partner, a doula and 2 midwives (they come in pairs for safety reasons). It was extremely helpful especially at end with my long labor and pushing phase. My partner got really exhausted so I leaned on my doula for support. She also helped by taking care of all the little things like water/hydration, birth pool water temp, food, etc., so my partner could attend to me 100%. I would definitely have doula support at my next birth as well! Very helpful! 

Interviews with Me on Being a Birth Doula

I've had a few different opportunities to be interviewed on what it means to be a birth doula.  You can find the interviews on these blogs:

Interview w/ Your Baby Booty
Interview w/ Ladies Lotto